Sunday, May 27, 2012

Sibling Bond- Vent - Adoption.com Forums

Does the importance of a sibling bond ever override the bond of a foster family? My fd has several other siblings, the oldest (teenager) is in the custody of her bio father. The youngest sibling is fd of a very close friend of mine. We live just blocks from eachother. Children attend same childcare and we see the other family at least 2 days a week. My fd has been in so many homes in her short life that i'm not sure she has ever totally bonded with anyone until she was being moved again. Both other fm and myself are kinship to these babies. Dhs is wanting one of us the take the other which is almost impossible since we both have very young bio's of our own that are same age as foster babies.

Both of our dh's have jobs were they are gone in evenings and sometimes overnight so the majority of the care taking is by us. I really thought several weeks ago the children would RU within month or so but now it's really looking like Tpr would be in near future. Of course by the time anything is finalized thru the courts, these babies will no longer be babies.

DHS is really putting the pressure on us to either take both babies or they will be moved to another home. birthmom has caused misery to every other foster home that has had the babies so no one keeps them for very long. She comes up with allegation after allegation at every weekly visit. Since we have had the babies, she has not said a negative word but we have also known her for a very long time. I know the sibling bond is extremely important and many times (at least one weekend a month) the other fm or I keep the other sibling over night so they can spend time together. Too be honest, they are so young they don't acknoweldge eachother yet.

I just feel like it's not fair for one of us to be forced to take on another baby and i'm not sure either of us can. My fd was a wreck when i got her and she has been thriving since we had her. Even casa worker recently commented on how she is a totally different baby. I'm just so nervous no one will care and they will be moved
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